Time, once again, to unload some of the quotes I’ve recorded onto the blog:

“I always say, ‘If you can’t beat ’em …. Report them to Homeland Security. They’ll beat ’em for you’ ”
-Colbert on The Colbert Report 9 June 2008

?(03:25:23 PM) Danny: mom just gets pissed if we don’t eat three meals a day

“Under the Bush Administration, the value of human life has gone down $1 million” – Colbert on The Colbert Report 14 July 2008

A: “Do you have to stand at the standup [meeting]?”
J: “Yeah, and there’s a strict no-leaning rule”

Mike: “I’m the hulk”
Dr. : “Technically you’re Bruce Banner”
Mike: “Point taken — nerd.”
Mike Burbiglia at The Improv 23 Aug

“So someone’s holding the back of his underwear…” – Mike K about why someone was acting strangely