I’m free flowing my writing tonight. We’ll see how much sense it makes. My dad has encouraged me to listen to Deepak Chopra. He is a western medicine educated Indian who beecame disillusioned with the poor success rates of western medicne. Determined to fuse the best of the West and East he went back to his native country to study the medical practices there. The final result is a fondue of Western Medicine, Quantum Mechanics, ancient Indian teachings, and Eastern Medicine. His books are part motivational and part practical. Sometimes they just offer plain and simple advice – eating such and such a food with such and such a quantity is shown to reduce the chance of disease X. Other times they are more metaphysical in nature.
One topic which permeates is the concept of the field of pure potentiality or infinite potential. This has a Quantum Mechanical meaning and a metaphysical meaning, but they are both different sides of the same coin. Quantum Mechanics says that this field is the source of all of the energy in the universe and that all objects are linked through it. A chair is the energy vibrating at one energy level while a human is another vibration. I wrote about this long ago in Eric’s Binary World 1.0. The metaphysical meaning is that the field of pure potentiality is another manifestation of God because God is the source of all energy. At any rate, by accessing the field of pure potentiality one is able to unlease their true destiny and infinite potential as a “spiritual being with ocassional physical experience.”
Right now I feel as if *I* am the field of infinite potentiality. Like Schrodinger’s cat we don’t know yet if I’ve been fed or not. (killed or not – depending on the version you read) Right now there are an infinite number of future paths for me when I graduate from Cornell. There are an infinite amount of paths because I have yet to choose one. Once I choose one, I have one path and all others cease to exist. Think of it as a highway system where once you transfer to another highway (say from I-80 to I-95) you cannot go back. It does not mean that there will not be future opportunities to switch highways, but all the ones you did not choose are forever lost. I have no idea where I’ll be once I graduate other than the USA. Each job I have applied to and am waiting for answers from is in a completely different place. I might be in DC, Arizona, Florida, NYC, or NY State. I might have a more technical job or a more managerial job. Right now I have absolutely no idea. I know where I want to be in a few years, but I have no idea where I’ll be in three months. It’s a very weird feeling.
It’s these infinite possibilities which make it so hard to plan for the future. To plan for the future implies some certainty about future events. Without this certainty, it becomes impossible to plan. For example, what is the best strategy for moving my stuff out of college? It all depends on where I am. If I’m in Florida then my parents may want to drive up with vans. If I’m in DC, they can just fly up and rent some vehicles here. If I’m in Ariona…well, I have no idea what that would bring.
This is such a unique time in my life. I had many choices to make in the past, but life was mostly linear, like a video game RPG. They can build in a few little things here and there to make each experience slightly unique, but you still have to do certain events in certain orders to save the world. I knew I had to get into a good college and so my life was actually pretty steady since just before I started middle school. However, now I have no idea. It may come to pass that I am given the opportunity to reduce my choices from infinity down to one or two by this week. I hope it happens.
As you know, humans can only take so much uncertainty in their lives. Pure certainty is boring – no one wants that. I certainly don’t want to know every intimate detail of the day because it’s exactly the same as the last. However, a certain degree of that certainty is necessary. I like to know that I’ll be eating between 6 and 8pm on most days. I like to know that every week day I have classes to attend. I also like uncertaintly and spontenaity such as deciding out of nowhere to drive to Syracuse. However, and I think most people feel the same way, I like my balance to be tilted in favor of certainty. Perhaps even something like 70/30 certainty to uncertainty is what I like.
I’m not afraid of anything, don’t get me wrong. I believe (and therefore know) that my God has a plan for me which will be the optimal choice for me. If I end up at company A instead of company B, there is a reason for it and that reason will be made manifest when the time is right. I simply grow weary of day after day of uncertainty.