The Effects of a Cornell Graduation

As I’ve mentioned before, although I think it was on It’s A Binary World 1.0, a Cornell education does something strange to you.  Like seeing vectors when speeding up and slowing down your car.  Or in the way in which you explain why Dan will be escorting two bride’s maids at Phil’s wedding:

(09:00:29 PM) Danny: and here’s what this one guy had to say about it
(09:00:38 PM) Danny: Also, I would like to concur with Dan’s sentiments. Given Dan’s unique
relationship status amongst our fraternity of groomsmen, it would be
logical and just to assign him the surplus of bridesmaids. However, giving
him three would stretch the bounds of the reasonable. It would be awkward
and contrived. Naturally, six bridesmaids would be pigeonholed amongst
four groomsmen in the currently arranged manner: 2 would have 1 each, 2
would have 2 each. Perhaps Margot would appreciate the subsequent
metaphor. Since the current combinatorial arrangement is the natural
consequence of an application of the Pigeonhole Principle, we can liken
the current circumstance to that of the most stable or lowest-energy
state. Although I am sure Mr. Mesa’s propensity for being an attractive
nucleus for members of the opposite sex is considerable, keeping three
bridesmaids in an orbital around his personage would undoubtedly require a
good deal of energy on his behalf. Also, let us consider another physical
fact. As Margot has indicated we may likely be in “arm-in-arm” contact
with our respective bridesmaids. Based off my prior observation of Mr.
Mesa, his anatomy appears nominal in that he possess, as do most members
of our species, two arms.
A third bridesmaid would have to reside in some outer orbital and would
have a greatly increased probability of being snatched by another
groomsmen to fill his inner orbital. As such, this arrangement is
unstable.

Author: Eric Mesa

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