He is one of my favorite comedians so I have translated two of his jokes for you today. Enjoy!

A woman walks into a pet store and tells the man at the counter, “I would like to buy your canary which sings most beautifully.”

So the man at the counter comes back with a bird and tells her, “this bird sings more beautifully than any other canary. It sings so beautifully that I cannot sell it for less than $1500.” She thought this was a lot, but for a bird that sang that well, she was willing to pay the price.

Christian Rock/Pop music has been around since the 1970s when Larry Norman pioneered the genre. Since then it has become a HUGE market encompassing all areas of music from rock to ska to punk to rap. There is a large popuplation of Jews in the US, so why wouldn’t there be Jewish music? Finally, our country has put enough of our prejudices aside that I heard Matisyahu’s single “King Without a Crown” on the pop radio station here in the Baltimore Area.

I’m not Catholic, but if I were to give something up for Lent, it would have to be my only addiction - flickr!

In the sciences a pupil is taught formulas and learns to aply and adopt these to whichever situations present themselves. By contrast, artistic learning requires studying the masters and learning to imitate their techniques before being able to create a new one. By knowing the rules and how those great artists adhered to them or broke them, the student gains a greater understanding.

My own learning by imitation began with the internet and the homepage. I would navigate to one which looke dneat, view the source, consult my OReilly HTML book, and figure out how to do it myself. Flickr has had a similar effect on opening my mind to new possibilities.

Some people might look at my pictures, particularly those who are in the 400 views group and say, “so! Anyone can get to 400 views by climbing the Views bracket groups.” For the uninitiated, these are pools of pictures that start with 25 then go to 50, 100, and every hundred after that. The point of the group is that a photo with at least 25 views is placed in the 25 group and when it outgrows that group, it moves on to 50 and so on and so forth.

Ever since I heard this song on the radio in Ithaca because my computer was broken and I had to listen to the radio to get some music, I’ve wondered what the heck the lyrics were about. I finally decided to google it and here’s what the singer, himself has to say about it.

In 2001, Brian Vander Ark explained what the song means to him: WHEN I WAS YOUNG I KNEW EVERYTHING. We all think we know everything at a young age. I thought I did. I realize I didn’t know sh*t until i was 36.AND SHE, A PUNK, WHO RARELY TOOK ADVICE. How many people do we know like that? NOW I’M GUILT STRICKEN, SOBBING, WITH MY HEAD ON THE FLOOR. Something happened, that caused this reaction, but I wouldn’t want to give that away this early in the song, so let’s through in an some ambiguity: STOP A BABY’S BREATH, AND A SHOE FULL OF RICE, NO. First of all, forget the NO. Stop a baby’s breath is just that. Abort the baby. A shoe full of rice is a result of a wedding. So - stop a baby’s breath AND then you stop a wedding. She’s pregnant, get her to abort, and then there’s no wedding. And you know what? I CAN’T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE, CAUSE SHE WAS TOUCHING HER FACE. When I wrote this song, The Divinyls had a song out called I touch myself. The TV was on, she was touching her face in the video. Very sexy. So, I can’t be held responsible because she was trying to be sexy, trying to seduce me, etc. I WON’T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE, SHE FELL IN LOVE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I didn’t tell her to fall in love. FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I CANNOT REMEMBER WHAT MADE US THINK THAT WE WERE WISE, AND WE’D NEVER COMPROMISE. What was i thinking back then. Who am I to put a girl though that? Why was I unable to compromise? Guilty feelings. FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I CANNOT BELIEVE WE’D EVER DIE FOR THESE SINS, WE WERE MERELY FRESHMEN. We were just kids, let it go, we all make mistakes, etc. MY BEST FRIEND TOOK A WEEKS VACATION TO FORGET HER. He needed to get away because of what happened. HIS GIRL TOOK A WEEK’S WORTH OF VALIUM AND SLEPT. This is why this song is not that strong literally - it’s confusing. HIS girl is MY girl. the same girl that had the abortion has now killed herself. NOW HE’S GUILT-STRICKEN SOBBING WITH HIS HEAD ON THE FLOOR, THINKS ABOUT HER NOW AND HOW HE NEVER REALLY WEPT HE SAYS. He has the same guilty feelings that I do about the abortion and death. WE TRIED TO WASH OUR HANDS OF ALL OF THIS, WE NEVER TALK OF OUR LACKING RELATIONSHIPS. We rarely spoke after the incident - we just tried to forget it. We never spoke of her or the fact that we can’t have a decent relationship with anyone since then. WE FELL THROUGH THE ICE WHEN WE TRIED NOT TO SLIP. No matter how careful you might be, there are other perils out there. The girl is real, the abortion is real. the death is not. it’s poetic license–to make the story more interesting.

Thought this song was pretty interesting - I had it on my computer, but hadn’t heard it in a long time. Pretty relevant to the current news stories.

lyrics: No tomo te, tomo cafe mi amor Yo como arepa y pabellon Con mi sumbao machuco el English when I talk Im Venezuelan in New York

Me ves pirao por Roosevelt avenue Con mi tabaco y mi baston Siempre me escondo cuando viene imigracion Soy un emigrante ilegal en New York I’m an alien, I’m an illegal alien Emigrante ilegal en New York I’m an alien, I’m an illegal alien Emigrante ilegal en New York