Here’s a great collection of Zen Writing Parody called The Rootless Root.

I will sample my favorite one here to give you an idea of the wisdom contained inside.

Master Foo and the Script Kiddie

A stranger from the land of Woot came to Master Foo as he was eating the morning meal with his students.

“I hear y00 are very l33t,” he said. “Pl33z teach m3 all y00 know.”

Master Foo’s students looked at each other, confused by the stranger’s barbarous language. Master Foo just smiled and replied: “You wish to learn the Way of Unix?”

The way the news keeps talking about the Virginia Tech killings, you’d think it was the only thing going on in the news. Did everyone forget about Darfur, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, missile defense in Poland, Russia, Chinese bootlegging, the failure of Windows Vista, etc? I mean, yes, it is extremely tragic that 32 people died who are, at most, only five years younger than me. They had their entire life ahead of them. If my kids died before me I’d be devastated. But put this into perspective!

As we know, there are many drugs which cause memory loss. They must be taking all of them up there because every time they end up in front of Congress, they spew a series of “I dont’ remember"s or “I don’t recalls"s. In a clip they showed this morning on CNN from Alberto Gonzalez’s testimony I counted about 10 “I dont’ remember/recall"s. It’s clearly a mockery of the system. If they can’t compell him to remember, what’s the point of the trials? To give the media something else to focus on?

When I was doing my renders of the mancandy mesh/rig, it seemed to me that Windows was taking forever to render the scene compared to my previous Blender renders on Linux. A quick investigation on the Blender FAQ stated that, indeed, the Windows version was faster than the Linux version. However, this didn’t make sense to me. My Windows machine is a 3 Gz Computer with 2 GB of RAM. My Linux box is an AMD (2 GHz, I think) with 512 MB of RAM. The Linux version couldn’t be THAT efficient, could it?

I found this online and had to include it because this is my favorite scene in The Princess Bride. It concerns the current lawsuit between IBM and SCO. (Click that link to find out more about it).

It appears on slashdot and is written by Titanium Fox:

SCO: So, it is down to you, and it is down to me…if you wish Linux dead, by all means keep moving forward. IBM: Let me explain… SCO: There’s nothing to explain. You’re trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen. IBM: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached? SCO: There will be no arrangements…and you’re killing Linux. IBM: But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse. SCO: I’m afraid so. I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains. IBM: You’re that smart? SCO: Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard or Kernighan, Ritchie, Torvalds? IBM: Yes. SCO: Morons! IBM: Really! In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits. SCO: For the kernel? To the death? I accept! IBM: Good, then untar the source code. [SCO# tar -xvfz code] Inhale this but do not touch. SCO: [taking a vial from IBM] I smell nothing. IBM: What you do not smell is our patent portfolio. It is odorless, tasteless, and dissolves instantly in source code and is among the more deadly portfolios known to man. SCO: [shrugs with laughter] Hmmm. IBM: [turning his back, and adding the patents to one of the code trees] Alright, where are the patents? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both compile - and find out who is right, and who is dead. SCO: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine it from what I know of you. Are you the sort of company who would put the patents into his own source code or his enemies? Now, a clever man would put the patents into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the code in front of you…But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the code in front of me. IBM: You’ve made your decision then? SCO: [happily] Not remotely! Because Linux’s SMP code originally came from England(1). As everyone knows, England is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So, I can clearly not choose the code in front of you. IBM: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. SCO: Wait ’till I get going!! …where was I? IBM: England. SCO: Yes! AH! And you must have suspected I would have known the source code’s origin,so I can clearly not choose the code in front of me. IBM: You’re just stalling now. SCO: You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you! You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong…so you could have put the patents in your own code trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the code in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied…and in studying you must have learned that Man is mortal so you would have put the patents as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the code in front of me! IBM: You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work. SCO: It has worked! You’ve given everything away! I know where the patents are! IBM: Then make your choice. SCO: I will, and I choose…[pointing behind IBM] What in the world can that be? IBM: [turning around, while SCO switches goblets] What?! Where?! I don’t see anything. SCO: Oh, well, I…I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [SCO laughs] IBM: What’s so funny? SCO: I…I’ll tell you in a minute. First, lets compile, me from my code and you from yours. [They both compile] IBM: You guessed wrong. SCO: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched branches when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool!! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against SCO, when intellectual property is on the line!

Check it out! Someone recreated a church with legos and it is very accurate.

Some pessimists decry that even electric cars have pollution created at the power plant thus what’s the point - let’s just have our current gas guzzlers. What they forget are their thermodynamics lessons in college. It’s no secret that we have yet to find an efficient way to convert fuel into useful energy. Of that $3 gallon of gas, only around $1 is used to move your car forward. The rest is blown out the tailpipe.

With Windows Vista requiring a computer more powerful than the majority of computer users have, many have touted Linux as the savior of these PCs. Do not throw away your PC because you must upgrade to Vista. Get all the graphical goodness and latest software with Linux. It has modest hardware requirements and will even ressurrect Windows 98 PCs. Then they talk about Compiz/Beryl, the 3D desktop. All of this is true, but I think it’s a bit of a half-truth.

Andrew’s post on Imus and his firing prompted a response from me. I decided that since I hold a dim view that other sites may exist in the future, that I will post select bits from his post and my full response. By clicking on that link you can see his whole post and my response.

…Sharpton and Jackson were both like piranhas when Imus made his offensive statement. But Imus’ comments were outright tame compared to what the average top 40 rap song has in it. Why aren’t they going after rappers more vehemently? Because they’re black, or are they afraid 50 cent’s homies are going to cap them for it?