Below you will find pages that utilize the taxonomy term “Quotes”
The Twins Recount their Day
A few days ago, I had the opportunity to ask the twins what they did that day while they were isolated from each other.
Stella: “We played LEGO and built a lot of cool things.”
Sam: “We went to Costco and then came right back home.”
Mind you, they both had the exact same day and did the exact same things. If I had to guess at why they focused on the things they did, I’d say that Sam’s answer was based on the fact that he likes to go out, especially to the park. So he was upset they’d left the house and hadn’t done anything he found fun. I’m not sure why Stella only focused on the LEGOs, but she is still playing with them a few days later, so maybe she was really happy to have new things to play with.
Scarlett's 3-Year-Old Vocabulary
Some people still treat TV as if it’s the boob tube (that’s boob as in dummy, not breast). But Scarlett’s kid’s cartoons led her to learn some stuff that led to the following exchange:
Danielle (rhetorically): Why does this monkey have a frog on its head?
Eric: It’s Swedish. (The toy is from Ikea)
Danielle: What?
Scarlett: No, it’s symbiosis!
Eric: Symbiosis? (I wonder if she knows what it means) What does that mean?
Scarlett at the Playground
It’s good to play with you, but now I have to go home!
-Scarlett to a playground full of kids
Martin Luther King Jr and The Baltimore Riots
I’ve been meditating on a blog post about the riot in my figurative backyard. While I’m still unsure if whether I’ll end up writing anything about it, I came across some interesting MLK Jr quotes today.
A riot is the language of the unheard.
Martin Luther King Jr
and this one seems to apply not only to what I’ve heard about Baltimore, but also to what I’ve heard about Fergusson and New York City:
Knowledge is Power
Daddy, I have The Information! I got the pamphlet!
-Scarlett after grabbing a pamphlet at the bank
The Library
Yesterday I went to the library to learn things so I can learn to work as a doctor
-Scarlett
Next time you hear about the 2nd Amendment to defend against tyranny....
Some folks (especially Americans) seem to think that their AR-15s are a guarantor that they can resist tyranny. But guns are an 18th century response to 18th century threats to democracy. Capital doesn’t need to point a gun at you to remove your democratic rights: it just needs more cameras, more cops, and a legal system that is fair and just and bankrupts you if you are ever charged with public disorder and don’t plead guilty.
Today's quote
A guy in a wheelchair with a hook for a hand is in a bad spot.
-D.D. from work (who is wheelchair bound, but does not have hooks for hands)
Scarlett begins using sentences
Daddy, you wearing glasses!
-Scarlett when she first saw me yesterday as she starts using sentences
Couldn't have said it better myself
A substantial percentage of outrage is bullshit. So is a substantial percentage of outrage about outrage, and so on. Outrage is often about consolidating political power and promoting the view that your political opponents are horrible people. Much of the dialogue about Mr. Robertson being suspended from A&E consists of partisans eager to use the opportunity to argue that (1) people like Mr. Robertson are horrible people or (2) people who criticize Mr. Robertson are horrible people. Outrage is often an occasion for “THIS JUST PROVES WHAT I AM ALWAYS SAYING ABOUT THEM,” with the particular case a thin disguise.
On Arnold Schwarzenegger
Yet, despite his non-existent range, Schwarzenegger has continually taken on projects that either cast him as a character with multiple identities ( Raw Deal, Total Recall, True Lies, Escape Plan) or require him to play multiple characters ( The 6th Day, the Terminator franchise). This results in a Hollywood hall of mirrors: Schwarzeneggers interacting with other Schwarzeneggers; Schwarzenegger pretending to be Schwarzenegger; Schwarzenegger discovering that he’s not the Schwarzenegger he believed himself to be, but a different, identical Schwarzenegger.
Torture Porn
“Torture porn works in exactly the opposite way: It shows the audience absolutely everything, and bears the same relationship to actual horror as porn does to romantic comedy.” - Scott Kaufman of the AV Club
Steven Hyden
If ever there was a period in modern American history that deserved to be described in Dickensian terms, it was November 2008. If you voted for Barack Obama (or just appreciated the historical significance of our country electing a black president) it was the best of times, the age of wisdom, the epoch of belief, the season of light, and the spring of hope. But if you paid any attention to the financial news pages (or simply owned a house that was now worth a year’s pay less than what you paid for it) it also seemed like the worst of times, the age of foolishness, the epoch of incredulity, the season of darkness, and the winter of despair.
Mitch Hedberg on Sleep
[caption id=“attachment_7265” align=“aligncenter” width=“480”] Mitch Hedberg - I haven’t slept for 10 days because that would be too long[/caption]
Mitch Hedberg on Picketing
[caption id=“attachment_7262” align=“aligncenter” width=“960”] Mitch Hedberg - I’m against picketing but I don’t know how to show it[/caption]
Donna Bowman of The AV Club
Someday I want to say “Hey everybody! Listen up!” and have everyone in a 50-foot radius gather around me, just like Dudley does while handing out the bike-shop fliers. It’s one of the ways I wish life were more like television.
-Donna Bowman of The AV Club at TV Roundtable
Mark Twain (allegedly)
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
-Mark Twain (allegedly - a lot of stuff gets falsely attributed to him)
Abraham Lincoln
“The problem with internet quotes is that you can’t always depend on their accuracy”.
– Abraham Lincoln -1864
Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) on Journalism as the Fourth Estate
Burke said there were Three Estates in Parliament; but, in the Reporters’ Gallery yonder, there sat a Fourth Estate more important than they all. It is not a figure of speech, or a witty saying; it is a literal fact. Printing, which comes necessarily out of Writing, I say often, is equivalent to Democracy: invent Writing, Democracy is inevitable. Whoever can speak, speaking now to the whole nation, becomes a power, a branch of government, with inalienable weight in law-making, in all acts of authority. It matters not what rank he has, what revenues or garnitures: the requisite thing is that he have a tongue which others will listen to; this and nothing more is requisite.
My favorite Hitchhiker's Guide Quote
“And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small café in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.”
Co-worker at a meeting to create a PowerPoint to get our project funded
[Very upper manager] will have a boner and give us money
-Co-worker at a meeting to create a PowerPoint to get our project funded
During A Meeting at Work
Co-worker1: You know that Snickers commercial? Co-worker2: Is that the one where you eat snickers if you are hungry?
Boing Boing
In fact, according to mathematician Marc van Leeuwen, an “oldest person in the world” will die roughly every 0.65 years.
- Boing-Boing
Quotes
Once again I share with you the funny (and in some cases, insightful) quotes I’ve gathered over the last few months:
I had this conversation with Duffy yesterday about how politicians need to hire me as a lifestyle coach “Hey Dan, should I pay all my taxes?” “Yes! Are you stupid?” “Hey Dan, should I solicit male prostitutes in the bathroom if I’m a conservative Republican?” “…No…”
Dan: I was ready to get lunch, but found out I’m not hungy. It sucks.
Quotes
Here are some great quotes I’ve heard/read recently:
“It’s like asking for a rollercoaster when you want wasabi” - C.P.
Eric: “So what was your role in the musical?” CP: “I never had a role” MK: “Oh, you were mailbox #2”
“Antonio Banderas should not be doing bee commercials” - MK on Nasonex
“They’ve declared a jihad on clothes” - Dan imagines a terrorist porn tagline
“I was dreaming about cake” - Danielle
Quotes
Time, once again, to unload some of the quotes I’ve recorded onto the blog:
“I always say, ‘If you can’t beat ’em …. Report them to Homeland Security. They’ll beat ’em for you’ " -Colbert on The Colbert Report 9 June 2008
?(03:25:23 PM) Danny: mom just gets pissed if we don’t eat three meals a day
“Under the Bush Administration, the value of human life has gone down $1 million” - Colbert on The Colbert Report 14 July 2008
More Quotes!
It’s time once again for me to empty my AIM profile and provide you with some quotes! Enjoy!
?"…never enter an arse-kicking contest with a porcupine." - Conina in Terry Prachet’s “Sorcerer”
“I have a unicorn for you” - Chris to Lauren
Mat to 6 yr old son: “Should we make mom breakfast in bed?” Son: “No daddy, we should make it in the kitchen”
“I’m the only one who can make sexual harassment charming” - D @ Work
Quotes
It’s time once again to empty out my AIM quotes into my blog. Enjoy:
?“You’re, like, my concierge to the Internet Underworld” - T to Chris at work
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Unless you throw a dictionary at me.” - Colbert 8 April Colbert Report
“They’re so much cuter tasting” - Lauren about airline pretzels
“In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something no one ever knew before. But in poetry it’s the exact opposite.” - Dirac
Some more quotes
“He says ‘hello’. That’s what I look for in a stalker.” - Lauren
“I think I was a little boy growing up” - Lauren
“You had mad cow disease?” - T to Lauren
Blogged with Flock
Recent Quotes
“He was talking with what’s-his-nuts….” - someone at work
“I’m not a snow bunny, I’m a snow fox. I eat snow bunnies” - Danielle
Blogged with Flock
Quote of the Day
“She made him into a monster” - Danielle “Yeah, a gay one” - Christine
Today's Quote
Lauren: “When are your fingers the largest?” J: “As a girl you should probably know that”
Month Old Quote
“She’s going to be a slutty eight ball for Halloween?” - Me, hearing my wife incorrectly
Some Quotes
“Nobody love a fat girl, but oh how a fat girl can love” - Sophie Tucker Song
Duc: “Do you like durian? durian?” Brian: “Duran Duran? Sure, they’re an ok band.”
Quote of the Day
Background: I’m feeling a little under the weather, so I’m staying home today. Danielle: “I want you to rest today, ok? I’ll send you a list of chores later.”
Quotes that are funny out of context
“That’s pretty fruity - you’d probably like that”
Context: T telling Lauren about fruity beer. Our boss just heard this part out of context and almost spit out his coke.
Quote of the Day
“Oh no you’re bleeding. And you’re bleeding on my face.” - Danielle
Quotes of the Day
J: What meal is that? Alex: My second lunch J: You’re like a giant Hobbit!
Eric: So, what’d you eat at Chipotle? Lauren: Chips Eric: Just Chips? Lauren: And water
Quote of the Day
Lauren: I don’t eat red food. Kevin: But you eat strawberries. Lauren: It’s not a food, it’s a fruit.
Latest Quotes
Here is the latest batch of quotes I have gathered up:
Found in the winehq irc room 1. Knowledge is Power 2. Power Corrupts therefore Study hard and become evil
“How many kamikaze missions have you flown?” “Fourteen Sir!” “Shouldn’t it be just one?” -Early work of Douglas Adams
Apple for style, Linux for security, Windows for Solitaire
[‘a’, ‘b’, ’new’, ‘mpilgrim’, ‘z’, ’example’, ’new’, ‘False’]
> “False” in li True
Hitch Hiker's Guide Quotes
The Hitch Hiker’s Guice to the Galaxy had such wonderful and amazing quotes in it that I was horribly dissapointed when the movie didn’t share more of these quotes. Here are two of my favorites, with more to follow.
The intro to the first book, which set the tone and got me very happy about the book to follow:
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Quotes!
“If a man owes you $1000 that’s his problem. If a man owes you $1 000 000, that’s your problem” - Anon
Confusion that only occurs with computer nerds: Me: did tyhey teach you about “this” in java yet? Danny: yeah Me: it’s the neatest thing that noeone actually uses Danny: we do sometimes Me: that’s cuz it’s a class ;P Danny: cause we’re a class? Me: :P Me: cuz it’s not real life Danny: oh, gotcha
Quotes
Those of you who may be new to my blog because you discovered me through a ping-back or some other method than coming over from It’s A Binary World 1.0 don’t know about my quotes posts. Throughout the day I collect quotes I hear in class, emails, or other sources and place them in my AIM profile. Whenever my profile contains too many characters, I move the quotes into my blog and refresh my AIM profile with new quotes.