Below you will find pages that utilize the taxonomy term “Fatherhood”
Sam's Thought Processes
As I’ve mentioned on this blog before, I always find it fascinating how the kids interpret the world. Here are a couple examples of how Sam is seeing things at this point.
LEGO Ban
Last weekend I was sitting at the computer, working on some code when my wife came into the room. “Did you tell Sam that he couldn’t play LEGOs?”
“Of course not,” I retorted.
“Did you tell him he couldn’t be in the basement, then?”
Nocturnal Creatures
Sam (4 years old): Can I have a coloring page for a nocturnal creature?
Danielle: Can you give me an example of a nocturnal creature?
Sam: Vampires!
Sam and Keyboard Layouts
Sam sat on my lap and looked at the keyboard on the desk. At first he tried to do the ABCs, but he was stymied by the QWERTY layout. So then he looked at the numbers. He started with 1 and counted up. As Scarlett did before him, he automatically said “10” when he got to the 0. I told him, “That’s not 10, that’s 0”. To which he replied, “Zero doesn’t belong here! It belongs here! [pointing to the beginning of the row of numbers]”.
A Science Journal Entry
Scarlett’s scientific journal entry about a duck and a baby duck
Sometimes the things my kids focus on just crack me up.
January Snow Day
Since becoming a parent it’s been a common theme of the blog that I find it fascinating experiencing the kids getting older and, therefore, more able to process the world around them. This winter was the first time the twins could be out in the snow for more than just a few minutes. Not only were they more able to weather the cold, but they were also strong enough to move around in the snow without too much frustration. They were also finally able to have a snowball fight. Although, watch Sam’s face closely from beginning to end in the following video, it’s priceless:
Needs More Science Education
My 1.5 year old daughter doesn’t understand entropy yet so she doesn’t understand why she can’t just put it back after she rips a flower off a house plant.
First Bike Ride
One day in October I wanted to get some exercise and it was just perfect timing with the kids up from their naps. So I took them for their first ride on the bike carriage. I wasn’t sure how they’d take it, given how randomly they seemed to take stroller rides. But they both actually enjoyed it and didn’t cry one tear. We’ll see what happens in the spring when they’re 1.5ish.
Differences

Stella loves anything she can climb on. Scarlett hasn’t developed a love for climbing trees, but Stella might. Put anything in front of her that’s a bit off the ground and she’ll try to get on top of it. Not sure if she’s trying to reach what the adults and her big sister can or if she’s just climbing it for the same reason people climb Everest: Because It’s There.
Ascribing Intention

The funny thing about this age is that the kids start making all kinds of faces at the adults. But for the most part, I doubt it really means anything. For the most part they’re learning by imitating and trying things out and seeing what kinds of reactions they get. But we can’t help but ascribe intentions to their facial expressions. Then again, we do this with inanimate objects, it’s part of what makes us human. (Or at least puts us in a small category of animals)
Growth

I took this photo back in August. I’ve said it before on the blog when talking about Scarlett, but it’s incredible how much the babies change in their first year. Sure, at this point it’s 100% of his life. But eventually you reach this age where you don’t really change all that much from year to year. You get a little fatter or skinnier and maybe lose a little hair, but it’s on going back multiple years where you really see the change. But look at Sam closer to birth:
The Chase
Some things are harder with twins - feeds, giving each one the amount of attention you’d like to give them, bed times, and more. But some things are pretty awesome - like the fact that they have a playmate that’s the same age. When we were little, I used to play with my brothers, but it’s not the same when you have the oldest (me in that case) directing play versus two kids who have the exact same notions of what play even means.
A quick correction
Just as with Scarlett (when she was a baby), we THOUGHT Sam had teeth coming. Everyone felt something in his mouth. He had all the signs….but, alas, no teeth yet.
Perspective

More insight into kid brain development. Scarlett drew this image of a person sitting on a chair. I asked her if the little box was a tablet. She said, “No, it’s a door.” So I asked her why it was so small. “Because it’s far away.”
Eat My FOOT!
When Scarlett was born, I went a little crazy. Sure, it’s natural for first time parents, especially someone with my personality. But I think I also deserve some slack because it was a difficult, complicated pregnancy and then Scarlett needed surgery in her first week of life in order to live.
So when I saw myself starting to act crazy again (after another crazy pregnancy with premie babies), my solution was to withdraw. If I didn’t get too attached, I wouldn’t have such visceral reactions to my underweight daughter not eating. So I threw myself into my books and video games. It was made easier by the fact that my mother in law was here, so I had more opportunities to run off. But then, a week ago (and I’m writing this post about a month before this will appear on my blog), I realized that I had been letting their infancy slide past me without enjoying it. And so I put myself back into their lives. This was made easier by nearly five months of the doctor weighing Stella and finally being OK with her weight. Also, we’d found out she was lactose intolerant and switching her away from mother’s milk and cow-based formula caused her to transform into a happy baby. But now I’m really enjoying the heck out of the twins and it’s a joy to see them each day.
The Dancer on Stage

One of the photgraphers on Adorama’s channel has a show called You Keep Shooting. That advice worked rather well when I took Scarlett into the studio with me for a photo shoot that would be used for my Black and White Conversion Challenge. (While the videos are already live on Youtube, the blog post that ties it together has not yet been published) Scarlett tends to be a pretty awesome model for a four year old amateur. She was patient and took direction for about 10 minutes or so. Then she wanted to do her own thing. Mostly that involved jumping and dancing and asking me to photograph her doing it. I zoomed out to get more of her body on the jumps and in doing so ended up with the beauty dish in the frame. While it would be only of a medium difficulty to remove it in Photoshop or GIMP (and trivial to crop it out), I felt that it added to a feel of performance when combined with the red background. The only thing would have made it more perfect for that theme would have been if she’d been wearing a dress or tutu.
Sam wins the teeth race
Yesterday Sam’s teeth started erupting - making him the earliest of the three kids to get their teeth and also explaining the last few days of insane amounts of drooling. (this was not a pre-published post)
You will remember me
(About this shirt my mom gave Scarlett)
Scarlett: what does this mean?
Eric: It means people will remember you.
Scarlett: Why does grandma want people to remember me?
So apparently this is a thing...

Although, if you aren’t judgemental, I guess it’s a good thing it exists. I know some women (not Danielle, we both rarely drink alcohol) who had miserable pregnancies because they couldn’t drink. So at least this way if they want to drink now that the baby’s out, they can make sure the milk is alcohol-free.
Scarlett washing lettuce
One of the best parts of three year olds is their willingness to help. I will show this video to Scarlett when she denies ever being enthusiastic about helping us. She even dragged a stool over to be tall enough.
Scarlett's 3-Year-Old Vocabulary
Some people still treat TV as if it’s the boob tube (that’s boob as in dummy, not breast). But Scarlett’s kid’s cartoons led her to learn some stuff that led to the following exchange:
Danielle (rhetorically): Why does this monkey have a frog on its head?
Eric: It’s Swedish. (The toy is from Ikea)
Danielle: What?
Scarlett: No, it’s symbiosis!
Eric: Symbiosis? (I wonder if she knows what it means) What does that mean?
Scarlett Playing
Just playing with the idea of breaking up a video of an activity into different shots.
Scarlett Bowls for the First Time
This summer she’s trying a lot of new spots, it seems.
Scarlett Plays Catch with her Glove for the First Time
Danielle bought Scarlett her first baseball glove and I was curious to see how her first attempt at catch would go. Here is a video of that first try:
And some stills:

Scarlett plays baseball with first glove-2

Scarlett plays baseball with first glove-12

Scarlett plays baseball with first glove-14
What do you think? Sports in her future? Or nerd like her dad?
Cutting
I asked my wife if she could show me how to cut a mango. This is what Scarlett said:
You use scissors! And you cut! Open. Close. Open. Close. Put your fingers in the holes. Open. Close.
And then I tried to recreate the situation while recording it. Here’s what she said with my prompting:
Visiting Walt Disney World with a 3 Year Old
This post is meant to be a followup to last year’s post, Visiting Walt Disney World with a 2 Year Old. I’ll be referring to, and updating, that post with the elements that were different this time around. For one, I said she wouldn’t remember the first trip. While that’s certainly true in the long run, three year old Scarlett definitely remembered the previous trip. She asked for rides she’d been on last time and she remembered going on the monorail.
Interesting Creativity
As a parent you are constantly wondering if you’re doing the right thing - are you being too nice or too mean? Is this a time to give in or stand your ground? But recently I heard a great story of something Scarlett did while I was at work. When Danielle’s birthday came around, Scarlett took her toys and wrapped them up in her blanket. She gave it to Danielle and said, “It’s your present! Open it! Open it!” That just made me beam.
Listening to Jim Gaffigan talking about raising 5 kids in a NYC apartment and suddenly found myself thinking - I could have 5 kids! I have a whole house!
When I think of the world and my daughter’s place in it, nothing upsets me more than the fact that misogyny is still the norm and not the exception; especially in the tech sector and on the web.
Today's great conversation
Scarlett: I’m not an onion!
Danielle: But sometimes you make me cry.
(Laughter)
Scarlett: why are you guys laughing?
Scarlett's Nightmare
Two nights ago Scarlett had her first nightmare (that she could articulate to us). She was screaming for us to come and then hyperventilating as she told us what was scaring her. I won’t share the exact details, but I’m pretty sure it had to do with the fact that she saw Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast that day.
Conversation with Scarlett
I’m trying to see if Scarlett knows her five senses.
Me: what do you use to hear? To listen?
Scarlett: headphones!
Me: OK, what do you use to see?
Scarlett: telescope!
At that point I am thrown off by both the inventiveness and incorrectness of her answers and give up for the time being.
Scientific Method Fails Me
Scarlett slept all night last night. But for the past week it’s been something like every other day that she sleeps through the entire night. But I can’t figure out the variables. I try to copy them from night to night. Oh well.
Scarlett's Relationship Maps
I don’t know if this is above average, normal, or below average for a 2.5 year old, but the following exchange left me impressed yesterday:
Me: I am married to your mom. So, your maternal grandmother is my mother-in-law. Who is my father-in-law?
Scarlett: Maternal grandfather!
I also heard that while she was in NYC she correctly surmised that my wife’s grandfather was my mother-in-law’s father.
A Conversation with Scarlett Today
Me: Daddy is a?
Scarlett: BOY!
Me: Scarlett is a?
Scarlett: Girl! No! Princess!
Scarlett and Birds
Don’t worry birds, I will feed you. Dad, feed the birds.
-Scarlett speaking to the birds in the woods behind our house (and then to me) a couple weeks ago
Scarlett Sings Along to Yankee Doodle
Well, more like finishing each verse, but it’s still pretty fun.
Visiting Walt Disney World with a 2 Year Old
For a while during Scarlett’s second year Danielle and I went back and forth on whether we should take Scarlett to Disney just before her second birthday or whether we should wait until she was older. On the one hand - she’s not going to actually remember this trip. Or rather, any memories she has are sure to be false memories triggered by the photos and videos we took. On the other hand - whether or not she remembers it, it’s still forming her base memories; memories that anchor most of the subconscious feelings we feel about our lives.
The Continued Evolution of Scarlett's Mind
I’ve mentioned before that I find Scarlett’s mental development utterly fascinating. As someone who’s always been fascinated with the science of cognition ( You Are Not So Smart is my new favorite podcast) and psychology, it’s amazing to see her capabilities grow and change as long with her physical growth. Her most recent new ability is understanding cause and effect. If you ask her a “why” question, she gives a “Because” answer. Now, this can border on the surreal absurd as when she recently painted her face with finger paint. The exchange went like this:
The Me Moment
[caption id=“attachment_7418” align=“aligncenter” width=“604”] Scarlett and I in the Kitchen before Bedtime[/caption]
Yesterday Scarlett pointed at herself and said, “Me… Scarlett”. She’s responded to her own name forever, but she is just now starting to realize that she is but one of many people inhabiting her reality. She is a person named Scarlett, I am a person “named” Daddy, and so on. It’s always been incredibly fascinating for me to see how her perception of the world has changed as she’s gotten older. It fascinates me more than her acquisition of new physical and mental skills (which is still cool on its own). Later on I asked her, “What’s your name?” And she responded, “Scarlett.” Up until now she’s just given us a blank “duh” stare whenever we’ve asked her that question. I’m sure this is but one of the reasons that parents put up with the stress of raising a child - for moments like this.
A New Development
Near the end of August Scarlett started waking up saying “Mommy” or “Daddy” instead of crying (although sometimes in addition to some light crying). Pretty neat and I think it signifies a further understanding that we’re around when she wakes up - she just needs to summon us. I better enjoy it - in about 6 months she’ll be able to come to our room when she is in her toddler bed.
What the hell, The Children's Place?
[caption id=“attachment_7198” align=“aligncenter” width=“300”] The Childrens Place T-Shirt - Girls are Good at Shopping, Not Math[/caption]
Not cool guys. Haven’t we been having this argument for years now? You’d think you wouldn’t be so gosh-darned clueless.
I wonder when the change point is...
During lunch I was looking back on my blog posts. Scarlett of 4 months ago still looks like current Scarlett (only smaller). But Scarlett of 1 year ago looks “nothing” like current Scarlett. I wonder where, exactly, is the inflection point.
Leaving the Kids at Home While You Go Party
[caption id=“attachment_6698” align=“aligncenter” width=“400”] The “Family Dinner” Early July[/caption]
Unfortunately, my work situation dictates that Scarlett does not have any local grandparents; one set’s in NYC and the other’s in Tampa. Scarlett’s current age necessitates being taken care of by someone who’s raised children, so Danielle and I don’t get to go out to the types of places you’re not supposed to take kids like uber-fancy restaurants. When we went to Tampa recently my mom wanted to give us the gift of some time away from the baby so she gave us tickets to go to Universal Studios. So we jumped in to the middle of the pond and learned how to speak rather than dipping our toes, so to speak. Scarlett was left with my parents,adopted brothers, and dog all day long. A day or two after that my parents took us to a nice restaurant to help us celebrate our anniversary and left the baby with a close family friend for a few hours. A week or two after that, we found ourselves in New York City on the same night that my sister/brother-in-laws were getting together with their best friends and cousins for their monthly dinner. My sister-in-law invited us so we left the Scarlett with my mother-in-law. Finally, as I write this, a couple weeks before it appears on the blog, we left Scarlett at our house with my visiting mother-in-law so we could have a nice dinner out.
Raising a Truly Bilingual Child
[caption id=“attachment_6459” align=“aligncenter” width=“527”] Scarlett and her cousin, Lan. Two different approaches to language.[/caption]
Nobody that I personally know was truly raised bilingual. My parents purposely taught me English first. Whatever Spanish I knew before learning it in third grade was picked up from visiting my grandparents. It was mostly limited to asking for food items and very generalized expressions of my state of being. Danielle was taught Vietnamese and learned English in preschool. Pretty much all of our cousins were raised with one language or the other as the primary language spoken at home. My house was pretty much only English unless my parents were trying to talk about something we kids weren’t supposed to understand. Danielle’s parents came to the US at a much older age than my parents (nearly twice as old) so English is laborious to them - they can understand it well enough to only be tripped up by the most esoteric of expressions (eg “like water off a duck’s back”), but can’t express complex ideas eloquently in English. Or, to put it another way, my father-in-law loves to tell jokes - he almost never tells any in English.
Sleep
[caption id=“attachment_6252” align=“aligncenter” width=“400”] Scarlett Sleeping[/caption]
Sleep is one of the most stress-inducing topics for parents. Well, for first time parents. I imagine that, baring some medical conditions, once you’ve figured out how to get one kid to sleep through the night, you can reapply the template over and over. I think one of the reasons sleep tends to be so stressful is that parents are so gosh-darned competitive. It’s ridiculous, but every parent is in a competition with every other parent. People like me are cognizant that this is stupid and don’t do it consciously, but my mind is always playing on my parental fears and bringing it up. “Hey, that kid can walk/talk/insert skill and is the same age as Scarlett so why can’t Scarlett do that?” Other people do it on purpose - it’s how they get their sense of worth - their kid is better than those around them. These are the same people who will be asking in 18 years what college Scarlett is getting into - not because they care but because they want to tell me what school little Dylan got into. And sleep is one of those activities where the parents actually have some control (unlike their mental skills) and so it’s seen as a sign of bad or weak parenting if you can’t get your kids to sleep through the night.
Excuse Me, Are Those Your Kids?
Ever since Danielle and I started talking about marriage 10 years ago, one of the nightmare scenarios in my head was my kid acting like a brat in public and me getting accused of kidnapping the kid because he or she didn’t look like me. My parents are Cuban and hers are Vietnamese. All kids go through impertinent phases and some of them threaten to accuse their parents of abuse and other things in an attempt to blackmail their parents. I would hope that I would raise my kids with more respect than that, but in my head I saw them pretending I wasn’t their parent in an attempt to get me to buy them something. Joke’s on them, I’d let them sweat about being put into a foster family. But how do you prove your kid is your kid? It’s damn near impossible. But I also have an over-active imagination so I figured this wasn’t a real thing. Until I came across this news story.
Disney Princess Culture Part 3: Transcending the Culture
I forgot what the term was called, but you know how it goes: you learn a new concept and suddenly see examples everywhere. (Or look into buying a new car only to discover that “everyone” is driving it) Once I jumped into the rabbit hole of Disney Princess Culture and our daughters, it seemed to be never-ending. I happened to come across a post in my feed reader in which a photographer was trying to figure out how to photograph her daughter for her 5 year old portraits:
Disney Princess Culture Part 2: So this is what they hate about you, Disney
When I wrote my second fatherhood post, the one about Disney Princesses, I speculated that perhaps the problem most people had with the Disney Princesses was not the movies, but how the company marketed to kids. Since Scarlett is only one, my only exposure to the princesses has been through my own childhood and adulthood love of Disney movies. This Boing Boing post about the princess from Brave, Merida, proves the point - it’s the marketing that gets under everyone’s skin. Here’s the change from the movie version on the left to the marketing version on the right:
Becoming Fully Human
My favorite thing about being a first-time father is watching Scarlett’s mind develop and acquire the skills necessary to be human. Anyone who paid a passing attention in biology class knows that humans are born more immature and less capable than almost every other animal. It has to do with walking upright shrinking the female pelvis while the ever-growing brain required a larger head. The result is that kids have to be born before their heads would be so large we’d be exploding from our mother’s vaginas like a horrible, horrible version of Alien. (As it is, quite a few women need an episiotomy to have a safe childbirth) And I’m not the only one to find this transformation into humanity so incredible as to refer to babies as not quite human. Jonathan Coulton mentions this in a throwaway line about his living situation while recording his song, The Presidents:
The Sad State of Daycare in America
Today I heard a story on NPR’s Fresh Air about the state of child daycare in America. Let’s just say it’s not very good. It was an interview with Jonathan Cohn who recently wrote a “The Hell of American Day Care” for The New Republic. It was a story that had some details that rang too true for Danielle and I. One of the key points that Cohn makes is that daycare is very expensive - so expensive as to be a burden to those who need it the most, single parents. That is a very, very true statement. Danielle and I flip-flopped during the pregnancy about whether Scarlett would be going to daycare. Around three months before she was due to be born, we decided to go with daycare so I set out to find all the daycare centers near our house that seemed reputable.I was quite surprised that it was hard to find one that was clean, provided stimulation for the kids, and wasn’t impossibly expensive . Eventually we found one that seemed good based on the tour. About a month before Scarlett was supposed to start, we went for a visit to meet the teachers. While talking with them, we realized that most of the kids were left alone and the workers weren’t washing their hands after changing the kids’ diapers. Disgusted, we decided to just take care of her at home. The sad thing is that daycare at that place cost so much that we weren’t really losing any money with the loss of one income. That was what had made us so unsure of whether to go with daycare in the first place - the amount of money we’d still get to take home if she was in daycare was so small the only thing that kept us actually considering it was a fear of how expensive diapers and other baby products are.