The Effects of a Cornell Graduation

As I’ve mentioned before, although I think it was on It’s A Binary World 1.0, a Cornell education does something strange to you.  Like seeing vectors when speeding up and slowing down your car.  Or in the way in which you explain why Dan will be escorting two bride’s maids at Phil’s wedding:

?(09:00:29 PM)Danny: and here’s what this one guy had to say about it(09:00:38 PM)Danny: Also, I would like to concur with Dan’s sentiments. Given Dan’s unique relationship status amongst our fraternity of groomsmen, it would be logical and just to assign him the surplus of bridesmaids. However, giving him three would stretch the bounds of the reasonable. It would be awkward and contrived. Naturally, six bridesmaids would be pigeonholed amongst four groomsmen in the currently arranged manner: 2 would have 1 each, 2 would have 2 each. Perhaps Margot would appreciate the subsequent metaphor. Since the current combinatorial arrangement is the natural consequence of an application of the Pigeonhole Principle, we can liken the current circumstance to that of the most stable or lowest-energy state. Although I am sure Mr. Mesa’s propensity for being an attractive nucleus for members of the opposite sex is considerable, keeping three bridesmaids in an orbital around his personage would undoubtedly require a good deal of energy on his behalf. Also, let us consider another physical fact. As Margot has indicated we may likely be in “arm-in-arm” contact with our respective bridesmaids. Based off my prior observation of Mr. Mesa, his anatomy appears nominal in that he possess, as do most members of our species, two arms. A third bridesmaid would have to reside in some outer orbital and would have a greatly increased probability of being snatched by another groomsmen to fill his inner orbital. As such, this arrangement is unstable.

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